trying my best

i’ve felt myself deteriorating again. i go through these slumps that feel so painful. im in so much pain.

i really hate the fact i think about it so much. maybe it’s because i’ve opened my eyes at last that i do have the right to be angry. i’m hurt, sad, disappointed, frustrated and angry, 

i’ll try to do better just for them. i’ll fucking show them. 

i want to be proud of myself every single day. that i love and find comfort in kagamine len and i wont let their words hurt me. i’m not a bad person for continuing to find comfort in a character i’ve been fond of since i was a little child. i want to feel beautiful and pretty again. i thought i was, I thought i was okay. i’m deteriorating and one of the only things that help me is len asides from friends dear to me. 

i will continue to try my best every single day. i am my own person.