I don't know what to do

I can't decide on whether I should relocate with my mother or continue staying with my father.

I mean, sure I love my father, but do I really want to continue staying in a place where I feel like every day, I have something to prove or having to always adjust to their expectations so I can fit in with others. I don't even feel like I'm in control over my own life, I feel like I have something to prove to him, even when he doesn't try to understand me.

Meanwhile sure I want to also relocate with my mother, but I'm also worried on her wellbeing cause I know she's working hard and I know she's supportive of my dreams but I don't to apply any more pressure to her life, but also readjusting to another school again sounds tiring and scared because I know I'm awkward and weird, it was already hard to fit in at school for 4 years, do I really want to go through that again?

At this rate, might as well let this sort out on its own but what do I genuinely do at this point?