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from 2016 but still
so i do succumb to feelings of "not being trans* enough" at times.
i have never felt "trapped" in my own body. my own body is fine and dandy and has served me well. it just doesn't match my gender.
and i've never wanted hormones or surgery, and i like my name and don't want to change it, and so i'm male in a female body - basically, so what?
if i was born in a male body i would still wear dresses and all - in this day & age & u.s. culture, girls' and womens' clothes are way more fun & expressive than mens' clothes, plus if you haven't tried it, do sometime - a long cotton or rayon skirt & a t-shirt -- very very comfortable.
i even x-country skied in short dresses, just wear long underwear or thick tights or leg warmers to keep your legs warm.
i am 67 years old.
when i was a kid/& adult up to the past 10 yrs or so, there wasn't any "transgender" really. just some crazy freaks like christine jorgenson maybe (an extremely brave person) and friends of mine who had surgery etc were called "sex changes".
nowadays it is amazing, really there are many many trans* people out there - otherwise why would there be this ridiculous controversy about bathrooms & all?
ever since i was maybe 3 yrs old i knew i was a little boy but everybody said i was a little girl and i thought it was some sort of mistake or joke being played on me.
i never understood or fit in with girls, even though i know some i love dearly, but i feel like an alien spy around them. (high school gym showers- yikes - i felt like somebody might "find out" & toss me out, even beat me up...)
i did get to be basically a little boy up until maybe first grade - got to run around with no shirt & do butch things like carpentry.
but then later it was all "be ladylike" etc.
i still did some butch things though. i remember in the 70s doing drywall & my landlady acting like it was the most bizarre thing - "is this womens' lib?" she asked. like it relies on gender to hammer in nails & smooth out spackle.
really the jobs only a female-bodied person can do is be a wet nurse, egg donor or surrogate mother and the job only a male bodied person could do is be a sperm donor. - did i forget anything? well, you get the drift, right?
the most accepted i have ever felt was back in the 1970s in san francisco, living in a gay (guys) commune, the mukluks, and being one of the guys and people even picked up on it and said things like "wendy isn't a girl" without me saying anything,
and now in slac, student labor action coalition [ http://slacuw.com ] dear wonderful friends treat me like it's perfectly ok to be a guy in a dress (um, with boobs & long hair, even, plus those other female body things like a uterus).
i've never suffered from being trans*, but instead for being in a female body, the things female persons suffer from in this fucked up society - sexual assault, low pay for the same job as male type persons, being dismissed, not believed, having ideas stolen by male types, being judged by looks, etc. blah .
anyway, now some people (like, slac-ers, and some trans* friends, and recently nurses & dr.s etc when i was in the hospital) actually call me he and him - which feels [a bit] more normal for me.
she and her always seemed odd & didn't fit right.
i don't care really what people call me as long as it isn't mean or threatening etc. or as my mother used to say, "call me anything but late for dinner". haha.
if people feel weird calling me he instead of she, that's ok.
i'm just very touched that some people do call me he without squirming.
this is turning into too long of a rant,
but so,
no surgery, no name change,
am i "not trans* enough"?
but i _am_ trans*, that's the only pigeonhole i've managed to fit into.
um,
so love to you all who understand & don't make fun of me.
xoxoxoxoxo
wendy
i have never felt "trapped" in my own body. my own body is fine and dandy and has served me well. it just doesn't match my gender.
and i've never wanted hormones or surgery, and i like my name and don't want to change it, and so i'm male in a female body - basically, so what?
if i was born in a male body i would still wear dresses and all - in this day & age & u.s. culture, girls' and womens' clothes are way more fun & expressive than mens' clothes, plus if you haven't tried it, do sometime - a long cotton or rayon skirt & a t-shirt -- very very comfortable.
i even x-country skied in short dresses, just wear long underwear or thick tights or leg warmers to keep your legs warm.
i am 67 years old.
when i was a kid/& adult up to the past 10 yrs or so, there wasn't any "transgender" really. just some crazy freaks like christine jorgenson maybe (an extremely brave person) and friends of mine who had surgery etc were called "sex changes".
nowadays it is amazing, really there are many many trans* people out there - otherwise why would there be this ridiculous controversy about bathrooms & all?
ever since i was maybe 3 yrs old i knew i was a little boy but everybody said i was a little girl and i thought it was some sort of mistake or joke being played on me.
i never understood or fit in with girls, even though i know some i love dearly, but i feel like an alien spy around them. (high school gym showers- yikes - i felt like somebody might "find out" & toss me out, even beat me up...)
i did get to be basically a little boy up until maybe first grade - got to run around with no shirt & do butch things like carpentry.
but then later it was all "be ladylike" etc.
i still did some butch things though. i remember in the 70s doing drywall & my landlady acting like it was the most bizarre thing - "is this womens' lib?" she asked. like it relies on gender to hammer in nails & smooth out spackle.
really the jobs only a female-bodied person can do is be a wet nurse, egg donor or surrogate mother and the job only a male bodied person could do is be a sperm donor. - did i forget anything? well, you get the drift, right?
the most accepted i have ever felt was back in the 1970s in san francisco, living in a gay (guys) commune, the mukluks, and being one of the guys and people even picked up on it and said things like "wendy isn't a girl" without me saying anything,
and now in slac, student labor action coalition [ http://slacuw.com ] dear wonderful friends treat me like it's perfectly ok to be a guy in a dress (um, with boobs & long hair, even, plus those other female body things like a uterus).
i've never suffered from being trans*, but instead for being in a female body, the things female persons suffer from in this fucked up society - sexual assault, low pay for the same job as male type persons, being dismissed, not believed, having ideas stolen by male types, being judged by looks, etc. blah .
anyway, now some people (like, slac-ers, and some trans* friends, and recently nurses & dr.s etc when i was in the hospital) actually call me he and him - which feels [a bit] more normal for me.
she and her always seemed odd & didn't fit right.
i don't care really what people call me as long as it isn't mean or threatening etc. or as my mother used to say, "call me anything but late for dinner". haha.
if people feel weird calling me he instead of she, that's ok.
i'm just very touched that some people do call me he without squirming.
this is turning into too long of a rant,
but so,
no surgery, no name change,
am i "not trans* enough"?
but i _am_ trans*, that's the only pigeonhole i've managed to fit into.
um,
so love to you all who understand & don't make fun of me.
xoxoxoxoxo
wendy
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