Expanding

heyyy Happy Saturday babes!! We made it through another week so I treated myself to a Matcha ofc. I don't know if anyone's tried it with butter pecan but it's crack istg. I also have a hurricane coming for me next week, I live in Georgia on the coast so exciting lol. I don't think its suppose to be a bad one, but who tf knows anymore with climate change. No one saw Helene wiping out parts of NC, but hey it happened. I kinda like that it is coming, right on time when I don't want to have to go to classes next week thank God!! I skipped a calculus test because there was no way in any universe I was passing that bitch. But hopefully, this hurricane wipes away all bad luck, bad energies and habits, and makes room for new things to come in. 

Meeting People Before

Speaking of new things, the main point of my post is to talk about meeting new people. It's pretty easy online and I see the appeal of it, but it feels empty. Like a false promise. And tbh, High School is the best place to make friends. You're constantly surrounded by people, running into new people everyday, and feel a bit apart of something. Don't get me wrong I hated it as much as anyone, but I really took for granted the feeling of being surrounded by people like you. The truth is it's really hard to meet new people after: you're never going to be surrounded by the same people everyday, you don't get the chance to observe people, and no ones trying to form a connection in a 2 second passing comment. Like of course in college you have classes with the same people, but many of those people already found their groups, have a busy life, or somewhere to be constantly. No one's trying to open up to people anymore. Work can be a good place but your limited in the pool of people. You might have a job with people who are all a lot older than you, don't have good morals, or just not your type of people. Not to sound picky, but people look for people they can relate to, share interests, and hopefully have some sort of moral compass. Unless you're lucky- 1. In a community that actively reaches out. 2. Blessed with like minded people in your everyday life. And 3. Able to get into new spaces and represent yourself confidently, you basically have it all down. If that's not the case, life can just feel isolating. 

Why It's so Hard Now

What's really interesting is I think we've adopted so many different 'epidemics' that people think its now cringey to talk to new people, share interests, and try to get to know strangers. The whole nonchalant epidemic pisses me off so bad. I'm ngl at first I was on it too, like the appeal of everyone thinking your so unaffected, mysterious, and not taking anything seriously. But eventually, the longer you pretend you don't have emotions, you won't. You won't even be able to label your own feelings, and it will just feel empty. You never feel like you genuinely, and that causes your own personality, interests, and morals to pretty much disipate. You won't be able to find yourself again after because you spent so long pretending nothing really mattered. Also if you were on the other side of it, it starts to make you drift from people. That one friend that seemed so alive, quick-witted, joyful and spontaneous just becomes dull. Conversations become a competition of who can care less. And people you once called your friend become cruel. This all might seem so dramatic and ofc all of it can't just be blamed on a social epidemic, but it makes the people you were once close to, feel closed off, immune, and cold. Another 'epidemic' that stood out to me was the whole 'its not that deep' trend, where it invalidated basic feelings. Like yes, I liked this one too, but mainly because it allowed you to get away with a lot more things, without considering other's feelings or shouldering their reactions. The good part of it is I think it opened a lot of anxious people up to the idea of 'no it doesn't matter, not everything is the end of the world', which is the part I hold onto. But the rest of it just denounced basic empathy. People are allowed to be upset, and you have no idea how deeply a person is affected for whatever reason. No one gets to invalidate others' emotions, and at the end of the day it was just telling people "you don't have a right to feel the way you do because it doesn't matter to me at all." So, as you can imagine & know, what do you get with a society that doesn't hold empathy, and prides themselves on being closed off? A society that doesn't try to know other people for fear of embarrassment. 

My Question for you(yes, you):

I have tried new clubs, sports, going to your local places, etc. etc. etc. And nothing works because like I said people either already have their circle, or are just so disinterested in opening up. But I still have hope there's people that have broke away from those trends, or some are just waiting for the right moment/person to make them interested genuinely in other people again. It is heartbreaking, as living in a small town that not so long ago people prided themselves on knowing everyone, and now you can barely get a response from some people. And I am talking about in person, people just straight up don't engage or give a default answer. So I am looking for suggestions, what, genuinely, are the things that are gonna help you meet loads of people? I don't mean join a book club, I mean unhinged things. Like should I try wearing something crazy out and hope someone starts a conversation about it? Do I just deadass walk up to random people and try to make plans? Do I go out in public and just start singing? Like at this point I'm so desperate guys.

Anyway, I won't hold you any longer. I'm gonna try some new things and just pray society rights itself. Like maybe my corner of the world just got this disease and the rest is still untouched. Remember- Feeling is okay, Your emotions are always valid, opening up isn't embarrassing but quite the opposite, and keep trying because humans biologically need other people and one day other people will drift from their groups and be in the same boat as possibly you, and definitely me. 

If you're also in the hurricane path for next week stay safe babes, it should just be a breeze!

Wish me luck on my calculus! And good luck to any of your endeavors! mwah

xoxo