I hate having feelings

I hate having feelings. Why do I have to feel this way? It's hard to explain, but I always feel sad. Even though I have some friends, I feel lonely, I just want to get away from everyone and disappear, I don't want to go out, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go to my activities, but my mom forces me even though I beg her to please not take me.

I feel a void inside, it's as if I'm missing something to be happy, it's something completely ridiculous, there are people who have real problems, could it be that I'm just exaggerating my feelings? I'm pathetic, everything I'm saying is pathetic and humiliating, I just want someone to understand me and let me vent.

I was thinking of going to the school psychologist, my head teacher's wife is a psychologist, I could go talk to him during recess and ask him to tell his wife, and if not, get me an appointment with another psychologist there. I want to do it during a specific break so that when the bell rings and we have to go to class, I miss a subject in which the teacher thinks I'm weird because of how I behaved.

This is all stupid, right?