Do you also dream of me when you feel afraid of the dark?

   I dreamt of you last night, despite only having nightmares this past week, i dreamt of you. In said dream, we were happy, it was the softest dream I could ever have with you in it. I fear that a dream as sweet will never again come to me if it has to do with you. In the melancholy of waking up and discovering that the smiles into lips and intertwined fingers, and soft glances were never real, I live with the fact that for at least one moment, one miniscule night, it was spent with the kindness I know you have, just not for me. I should stop thinking about it, my therapist would tell me to let it go, my best friend would tell me to break up with you; I can do neither of those things for the fear that you alone shall kill me, your absence in my life would kill me too, i reckon. 

   The only way I could see leaving you as of right now wouldn't do either of us well— You, because I would haunt your narrative, I would be everywhere you looked and you would despise just hearing my name come out of peoples mouths,, just like you do with all your exes now. Me, because i would feel you missing in my bones, i'd find any way I could to be around you, be around you when you least expect it, I know it would upset you, yet I can see no other way, if I didn't do that then what would my purpose In your life ever been.

I hope you dream of me too. -N♪