I never feel like enough

This is gonna be one of the deeper blogs I write, I want your opinion in the comments 

One thing I've been realizing lately, not on my own but with others around me telling me so, is that I'm sort of a perfectionist and I always expect more of myself, yet I always appreciate and admire others' achievements

I'm gonna explain more, I'm first on my school, I've been wanting to achieve that for years, not that I've never been at the top, I've ranked 2nd, 3rd, 8th but it never felt enough, so I thought when I become 1st I'd be the happiest ever

And for a while, I did, but then I started to make it sound like less of what it is, I'd think "this is just an academic achievement, it's not actually getting me anywhere right now" which is crazy because a year ago I wouldn't have thought the same

A year ago, I passed an impossible exam that only the top 10% of students my age can even apply for, it was an entrance exam for a school for literal geniuses, I didn't get accepted, I did pass tho which not quite a lot of people did, and you know how they tell you to look at the bright side, I couldn't, still can't, feel 1% proud of myself, if anything I'm even embarrassed to mention it sometimes

That year I also got a prize for winning a competition related to a computer science program I'm in (which also only top students are allowed to attend), a prize only 10 students across the country were able to win, yet I feel like it wasn't enough, I did feel proud for a while, but then came the feeling that it wasn't really enough, which is stupid because again, if anyone told me while applying to that competition that I wouldn't stay proud when I win I wouldn't have believed it

I have many more examples but I think you get the point

And now this has turned into a self destructive cycle where I work really hard for something, earn it, and then not feel proud enough, always wanting more, even if there's nothing more to get

Yet at the same time I praise everyone around me for the smallest achievements ever and feel more proud of them than I am of myself

And I'm not saying I want to stop working hard or wanting more, I just want to stop thinking less of myself

Because whenever I get a full mark, rank high, get praised for anything, I'm always doubting if I even deserved it and never expect such good thing although I know I'm capable of achieving it

Which is also stupid because as much as all this "wanting more" mindset is getting me to good places, it's also burning me out and making me never fully proud

So what I'm saying is, how do you think I should stop looking down on myself and my achievements, but also keep making them

Do you have any thoughts?