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I got a gift for a friends birthday months ago. It was at a small comic con and I thought it matched. I meant to message them and make sure they're still at the address I have. But I lost track of time and I had insane weeks at work
Then when I did message them they never responded. I think they uninstalled Discord because they only had it to stay in contact with us. But I messaged them on Tumblr and they responded, apologized saying they don't really use Discord, and then did not respond to me.
In their defense they got Covid right after we first messaged on Discord. But the lack of a second response post that is what worries me. I feel like I'm too pushy, I don't want to pressure them if they don't want to talk. I know this behavior specifically because I am SO used to it from my youth. And there's a good chance I'm oversimplifying this. But the lack of a response on Discord after I had checked in on Tumblr is what really gets me
Either 1. She thought that me checking in was sufficient to responding to mine and another friends happy birthdays (true for mine. Not the other friend)
2. Has not seen the Discord messages at all (very unlike them. At least in my experience they check after being made aware of it)
3. Privately thanked our other friend (I hope so. Too worried to ask)
I still have the present. I don't know what to do. I keep finding myself mourning a friendship I might have accidentally let die
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Stardust
Honestly from my experiences, one-sided friendships like that never work, the more you linger on them, the more they hurt. Your time is too precious and the world is full of people who wait for someone like you to come into their life (even if it doesn't feel like it now, life is super unpredictable!), no point in wasting that time on someone that shows no effort.
yeah i agree
really sad to see when it happens tho TT
by itrhld; ; Report
I appreciate it! And I understand how you came to that conclusion considering I didn't put a lot of detail.
But it's not that simple by a longshot. I have an insane style of communication where I actually don't talk a lot for months on end. Also this friend has done so so much for me, and we've done a lot of big things together.
I truly don't believe it's a lack of effort or something that I can draw that conclusion from. I think it's a combination of covid/school/awkward avoidance.
We do a yearly trip together, and have not spoken about it Once. Well, because we haven't really spoken, but either way I can't afford it this year, however they don't know that because once again. Haven't spoken about it. And it's this weird point where I think they're avoiding it because they don't want to so they're side stepping, and I don't want to loudly announce I need to cancel out of no where if that isn't the case.
Again, I appreciate your advice! But all of my friends, ones who I'd linger on, aren't shallow people. They aren't people who don't put in effort. They're my friends, people who have their flaws just as much as I do, and deal with my dogshit communication. So of course I'm gonna give them some slack. I just gotta figure out how to fix this or squeeze it out of them that they don't want to hang
(Also, thank you for the comment! It made me realize I'm being incredibly preemptive with assuming it's over)
by Squill~Scilla; ; Report