You can do this, just one more day

  How can I like you so much yet hate you with the same strength. I crave you when i'm away, still, the things you say and do impale my cold heart with a wooden stake; the pain is incomprehensible, i wish i could scream at you till you flinch away from me every time i open my mouth to speak. But unlike you, the thought of hurting the girl I could maybe love wounds me more than that wooden steak could ever. I haven't been good with words, never could gather enough words to explain my feelings and my thoughts, but you make that easy, no words need to be said to explain how much i'd love to hate you; still, though the silence speaks for me, i wish i had the verbal conjugations to be able to look you and the eyes and tell you the tremendous feelings in my guts.  

  Will I ever be loved like the love i read about? Is that attainable for me? I read the fanfiction people with much better words than me write, and I put us in the place of the characters, hoping that you will love me better because it's all fiction. Truthfully, I just think I want to be loved by one person that will see me in every universe, in every different way I could ever be, and love me anyways, even in spite of the hate they feel. I hope the world, for once, lets me be loved like I hope I deserve.

—love, N♪