Ashley chapter 2

Ashley climbs down the tree slowly, each step toward the streetlights making her stomach twist. The glow from the house hits her like it's exposing her, but she keeps moving, careful. "Okay..careful..they don't need to know. Not tonight." 

She reaches the fence that holds her grandparents' plants, swings herself up, and perches on the roof. Ten minutes pass and her thoughts churn. " Three days..my mom was here for three days, and she left again. It's my fault.. I should've done something. I didn't.."

Then, anger bubbles up. " No.. it's their fault. My grandparents. If they'd never stepped in, I'd still be with mom. I'd still be.. normal. Mom and I were fine..until they broke us apart."

A sharp pang hits her chest as the truth claws through. "But..I know it's not really them. Mom..mom made her choices. Drugs.. addiction.. she loves me, but she..she isn't okay." Ashley bites back the weight of reality. She doesn't want to let go. She loves her mom too much to accept the whole truth.

Back inside, she moves quietly, the carpet soft under her feet. Her fan goes back in place. The window squeaks slightly as she pulls it closed, adrenaline surging. She counts nine seconds, her lucky number, before breathing out. No siblings stirred. "Good..I'm still invisible. Still alone." 

Ashley sits in front of her mirrored closet, lamp glowing dimly. The reflection shows her face, tired and alive in a way no one sees. She hits record on her flip phone and speaks softly: "I went out tonight..needed it. Needed to feel something. I'm consumed, totally, by.. everything in my head. Violent thoughts, stupid bus stuff with my friends.. life's loud, and I'm just..stuck in the quiet part no one sees."

She stops recording and climbs onto her bed, the frame creaking under her weight. Earbuds in, Cellar Door by Escape The Fate fills her ears. She stares at the ceiling fan, letting the music sweep over her. "No one gets me. No one even tries. I'm..a mess, I guess. And I kinda like it."

Her mind drifts, half distracted, half lost in herself. Tonight is hers. For a little while, she's alone in her chaos- her thoughts, her music, her body- and no one else can touch that.