Stealing Plants 101: How to Pick Your Victim and Get Away With It

By: sacabamscribesis

With a garden like this you’ll be the talk of the town!

So you want to and some color to your backyard but A) you don’t know where to begin and B) you’re low on cash and time? You’ve come to the right place! In this article we discuss the three most common and easiest plants to steal so you can keep your record clean while going green.

3. Sansevieria

So Paige, we’ve noticed that you’re no good at keeping things alive. That’s fine because this plant was born to weather tough times. Native to West Africa, these are some of the hardiest succulents out there. You should be able to find these bad boys at almost all of your local malls, because there are few plants as well suited for mass planting in good ‘ol Southern California thanks to the fact that they thrive in the sun and require little water. All you need to do is take those lovely red garden shears in your shed on a field trip to either of the two malls near you and snip off a leaf. Or, if you’re feeling a little brave, you can rip out a shoot–but make sure you get the roots or else you’ll be straight out of luck! Much like Dave, eh? Then, what you’re going to need to do is stick that cutting in a jar of water and wait. Best case scenario, roots grow and you can pop it in a dirt planter. Worst case scenario you try again.

2. Aeonium

Aren’t these lovely ladies some real beauts? You’d think these would be harder to take care of because of how delicate their leaves are, but fear not, we’d never mislead you. Unlike you, we don’t lie to those relying on us. Once again, these plants should be fairly easy to find in your local malls. It’s worth noting that the one two miles away from your house has a greater variety, so if you want to explore your options head there. Taking one of these home is, as the title of this article suggests, pretty easy. All you have to do is snap off a small branch (leaves intact though this should go without saying) and bring it home. These can be left in either water or soil, but for best results let these bodies dry out at the end where they were snapped off for a day or two before putting them anywhere. These plants are summer dormant, so the best time to break one off would be during winter as that’s when you’ll have the best odds of success growing roots.

1. Graptopetalum

This kind of succulent, or really any that looks like them (they have so many hybrids and they are hard to distinguish from echeverias unless you’re really into plants, which we know you’re not) are some of the most likely to give you plant kids. They can be propagated both via leaves or by stem cuttings. These fine fellas and their ilk are also some of the easiest to find in the great, but domesticated outdoors. You can find them acting as decoration for malls, being sold in home improvement stores, and even in your neighbor’s planters. She doesn’t leave the house much after 6pm, so if you’re going to pick a time to dig around her garden, I’d pick then. She’s hard of hearing and she’s near blind, so getting to her garden through the back gate should be a piece of cake. But you probably are already aware of all this.

Hopefully you’ve found this article helpful, and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns feel free to leave a comment. If you follow our advice your backyard will be covered up in no time. Just make sure to pick up your plants soon while the fertilizer in your garden is still decomposing and fresh!