Subterfuge

This is part of my ongoing transfer of poetry from my notes app to a place where perhaps it can connect with others. As always, constructive criticism and discussion is welcome. - SG

I don’t like keeping secrets

But what is a secret anyways

Is it something you lie to protect

Something you skirt around in conversation?

a slumbering grizzly you pray nobody steps on the tail of

Be it unknowingly or incessantly

Is it a secret if you tell one person

Maybe two if you feel the need

Maybe more

-

The guilt eats me up inside

And every once in a while I let it slip

That maybe I did something wrong

I attempt to keep my self image on the avenue of the righteous by telling myself that

were one to ask

to ask very specifically

with the wright words

at the right time

I would tell the truth.

But only to the end that the question requires

If I answer the question and nothing more, am I still keeping secrets?

Is it a secret if nobody asks about it?

If nobody would want to know?

If they would prefer the man I was before I told them?

Do I keep these secrets to keep myself safe from them?

Or to keep them safe from who I may be?

If I’m still the man in the secrets at all

Subterfuge

What they don’t know can’t hurt me

And what they could know kills

An existence in limbo, perhaps the only peaceful thing I can confide in

Is learning to be at peace with myself

Originally written 11.06.2024