dumb life stuff

does anybody else just feel… empty??? like some days i’m fine, laughing at dumb shit, scrolling like a normal human, and then—SURPRISE BITCH—nothing matters anymore. the world is loud, people are annoying, notifications are screaming, and i’m just… HERE. HOLLOW. FLOATING. like a ghost in my own life, rolling my eyes at existence itself.

it’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s this smug little nothing that plops on your chest and goes, “yeah, you really thought this mattered? cute.” and it sticks around, laughing at you while the universe keeps doing its chaotic little thing

i want to be present. i really do. i want to laugh, have fun, do my normal shit, scroll memes, live my life like a semi-functioning human—but MY BRAIN? OH NO. my brain decided today was a “let’s sit in a void and ignore literally everything” kind of day. like thanks, appreciate it, love being trapped in my own head while my neurons are having a party without me.

and don’t even get me started on PEOPLE I LIKE. some days i can’t even pretend to care. i see them, i hear them, and i’m just… nothing. nada. zilch. like congratulations, crushes, friends, humans, you’re irrelevant today. my emotions checked out, packed a bag, and left a note saying “good luck, bitch.”

and then there’s some days where i FEEL EVERYTHING. like, i’m talking full-blown tidal wave of emotions. the people i love? i wanna give them my soul. i wanna merge ourselves into one cosmic messy blob of feeling. i feel so intensely, it’s almost scary. my chest is overflowing, my brain is on fire, my heart is screaming and i’m just… there

and honestly, maybe it’s just burn out from life? like, maybe my brain is screaming “too much!” and my emotions are in revolt because life is exhausting, relentless, chaotic, and sometimes unfair. i don’t know. whatever it is, i want it to go the fuck away. i don’t wanna drown in this intensity one day and feel nothing the next. it’s exhausting, it’s messy… and i swear this isn’t some stupid pity party. i’m genuinely wondering—does anybody else deal with this? does anyone else ride these wild waves of nothingness and total emotional overload?