my school is trying to KILL me

ok so my school is literally on crack rn i sWEAR.

first of all, the meal hall?? CLOSED. for DAYS. bc of some mysterious smoke [hello ?? find it ??] so fine, whatever, i’ll go to the little campus café like I’m supposed to… BUT THAT WAS CLOSED TOO?????

so i’m like “ok cool i’ll just go raid the vending machines & have my garbage dinner like I do.” I get there… and literally the ONLY thing in the entire machine was off-brand sour patch kids. that’s it. that’s the menu.

so i crawl back to my dorm like a starving victorian child & i’m like ok I got some slices of bread, i’ll just have toast at least. except guess what?? i BURNED it. i BURNED MY TOAST. and do i have money for more bread? no. who do you think i am, jeff bezos?? no. so i’m standing there scraping off the blackened bits with my NAILS like a feral raccoon and SOMEONE WALKED IN AND SAW ME DOING IT. 💀💀💀

anyway behold: tonight’s gourmet dinner. 

 and yes. YES that is a frog-shaped sectioned plate for babies. and YES the only utensil i own is a flimsy dollar store teaspoon. i’m WORKING ON IT OKAY.

pls send help.