Love is.. 🍊

I have struggled with depressive tendencies since I was in 4th grade. And as I’ve been perking back up and rediscovering the bright light that inhabits this world, I realize that I am back in a very similar place as where I started.. when I was very little. I often think about how the first thing I would draw consistently was hearts with legs and faces, a literal personification of love itself. I drew them on cards and gave them to anyone, whenever. I love you so much our hearts grew legs and are dancing together contentedly! How I would pet those big dog donation banks at the store, as if they were alive. Or how I would thank people for just existing in the same place as me because I got the opportunity to see their beautiful face or lovely outfits, I may not know you but I am happy we are here together because I love you. 

For simply being alive, I love you.

And I grow to wonder when do our hearts stop popping out to dance with one another? When do we forget that love is abundant, and not a scarce commodity to withhold? You cannot steal love for it is light, so why do we feel like it’s a waste if someone doesn’t stay forever? 

Love: the endless beams of light from our hearts, gifted to us by the sun and our mothers, the wild weavings of hundreds of people who came before us. We are born with it overflowing from our ears and fingertips, but at some point we seem to lose sight of it… at some point it becomes a show of naivety and childishness instead of great strength. 

May I never outlive my capacity to love. May I never forget what it feels like to feel the warm radiance of the people around me, strangers and friends alike. For I love all of you, and I will never allow myself to forsake that in order to seem more mature. The need to leave unconditional love behind in the name of maturity or growing up is a delusion I will never again succumb to.  The notion that shutting out love is strength is a falsehood that will only hurt you for as long as you live.

To go numb is to be weak, to hate is to be your weakest. Because hatred is simply the absence of love, the only way to combat this illness is with love. Humans are not solitary creatures, which is why I believe love is a basic human need. What is shelter worth if it is empty and cold? What is a meal worth if you are not eating it alongside those who love you? 

I know it hurts to hope, and it hurts to love but never lose sight of it. Never stop holding yourself and others tenderly. I love you. 

For simply being alive, I love you.