kind of vent

People around me always have different dreams and ideas. I always listen to them and I always try to cheer them up if needed. I always try to make myself seem better, I adapt to people around me so they would know that I understand them

But I don’t 

I never had dreams about becoming a billionaire. I never had dreams about having tons of friends or a cool car. Never had dreams about having a cute dog or traveling all over the world. No. In fact, the only thing I ever wanted is to get out. Get out of my home, get out of my town. Never speaking to anyone I’ve ever met again. Never giving them a second chance even

I only want one person. I don’t know when this person will show up, I don’t know if I’ll find them or they will find me. I don’t know if it will be soon or not

I only want to get out with them. I want them to love me. And I will love them too. Forever. I am really ashamed of this. I am really sorry that I feel this way about everyone surrounding me but nobody truly loves me as who I am. Nobody cares about me. And I feel like nobody ever will 

I hate myself