Tomorrow

The butterflies in my stomach

Throw themselves against my insides

I feel so terribly nauseous

Is this what a crush is supposed to feel like?

I will see her tomorrow

At the Christmas party

And she will likely ask

What it was I wanted to tell her

Because on the last day before the break

I texted her, asking if we could talk

She said she might be able to

But she had to leave

I stood there at dismissal

In my favorite long sleeve black v neck

My makeup done meticulously early that morning

I never got to say a word to her

I saw her for a moment

My heart pounded so hard

I thought it might rip through my chest

But she was gone in an instant

My friends gave me a sort of pitying look

They told me it would be alright

That they were rooting for me

That they were sure me telling her would go well

I have been doing tarot readings every day

Desperate to know what to do

Each reading has been the same

Always new beginnings, yes, and love meanings

I pray to whatever force or entity is out there

That I don’t mess things up

I don’t even necessarily pray that she likes me back

Just that I don’t ruin our existing friendship

She likes someone too, I think

She posts things on her Instagram story implying it

I do the same

I don’t know if she’s caught on or not

I pray that I will have a chance to talk to her tomorrow

I pray that I can tell her how I feel

I pray that I don’t mess up our friendship

And I pray that she feels the same

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