#6 : life is so beautiful.

went through the trenches for a month and now i feel human again. not to quote that one fuckass youtube comment or anything but,,, "how odd to be anything at all" or wtv. lowkey how i feel at the moment. im drawing again, im actually drawing and not getting pissed at myself for not being perfect at something first try. im hanging out with my friends on friday. i get to question if i like this guy or not, if im upset at myself for these feelings or not.

i stay up late, i listen to music, i draw whatever i please now (mainly fanart pls dont punch me). im playing my bass again, i even decorated it some with sharpie. i cleaned my room and desk. i didnt spend all day on my computer playing video games. i read, i played bass, i drew, i listened to music. i actually ate today. i took care of myself. i took screen time breaks. i existed today without feeling like there was something rotting inside of me and fearing someone would find it. and im still drawing btw. its nearly 1am. i need to sleep. maybe not though. maybe ill finish eating my ice cream,,, maybe i'll watch youtube videos and play bass and draw and read and live in my room until the morning. then ill shower, get ready, and sleep in science or smth. or maybe spanish.

but the most important thing is i feel human again. and hopefully it lasts a while.