pages from my diary

I am everywhere and nowhere. I scream into the air and no one hears. I hide in plain sight, wearing a mask stitched from other people's expectations. I let the sun hit my face but not my heart. I smile at the world and it doesn't know how much I want to tear it apart and remake it in my own image. They tell me to grow up. They tell me to forgive. But I can't forgive the years that were stolen, the nights that screamed without answer. So I swing and fall and scratch the air with my hands because movement is proof I'm still here.