i can feel again

past these months i havent been able to feel anything at all i couldnt feel the insects crawl on my skin while i slept on the cold soil with my cold rotting body i couldnt ever tell when i felt the need to shit or piss i believed that the only way to deal with the draining reality of sensory deprivation was to just get used to it and move on but to no avail i needed to feel things i needed to feel my skin i needed to feel pain again i couldnt go on a day without the need to shoot myself despite knowing the afterlife wouldnt be so different for me until that is i started taking shrooms that had magick sources and knowledge stored in them and theyd assist me throughout my journey to feel again 

i mightve become an occult follower i never thought id ever become one or a believer of anything at all the occults main magick is sex magic so i began practicing my fantasies thinking id get something out of it but no it was all faux the short feeling of consciousness and unconsciousness was all faux and i got nothing out of it despite the fungi telling me otherwise i had to feel in order to get the real feel anyway 

but recently they finally listened to my compliant and sent me to some magic tower the man in the tower was annoying and i hated dealing with him but his hat managed to get rid off my sensory deprivation yet something tells me i mightve been cursed because i keep hearing the dead and i thought listening to the damm door berating me or hearing things whisper to me numbers was enough i dont really know what to think of my life anymore im just relieved to know that i can feel maggots wriggle inside of me