I feel childish

I was at the funfair with my best friend. I gifted her some selfmade things but also bought her a few stuff. Because we don’t see each other much since we gratuated. And because she does the same.

My little sister joined us after we were done, we went for a walk through the city. My best friend is a very loving person. But she was feeling funny idk and started talking badly about the things I gifted her because I had the idea of getting a douglas card for my other friend for her birthday.

She talked about it for like 1 hour. ,,I’m always getting you good presents why aren’t you buying me stuff“ shit like that. And I started to believe she’s serious because she talked about it so straight. Now I feel bad for gifting her selfmade things I thought are good. 

I feel childish for gifting her selfmade things and I can’t stop crying because I always put a lot of love in them. 

I was about to attempt this morning, i couldn’t find a way to stop breathing as fast as possible so I did research and god idk I also feel very dumb in a childish way because I hate to think theoretically 

This gave me the rest. I didn’t think of the money because I often couldn’t effort things.

Now she’s writing paragraphs and makes audios of how much they meant to her and that everything is her fault and Ofc I do forgive her. She’s still my best friend and I love her

But I won’t gift her selfmade things ever again. I really thought this love was enough