it's been 23 days

Apparently, it's been 23 days since my last blog. OOPS! I have to fix that, but I have an excuse.

I'm in a better place.

It's true, since mid-August, I've felt a shift in my energy. This might sound like a bunch of nonsense but one thing I never do is bullshit anyone. I'd been in a major funk for the past two years and change, starting with the sessions from my last cd ACT NATURAL. I won't say anything disparaging but will comment that I learned really quick who DOESN'T like me.

Some people are simply not my friends. Period. That's the harsh truth that I had to face. I have been doing a lot of soul-searching since 2020, and while it felt like it would never end, I'm glad it didn't. I'm learning more and more painful truths about myself, and what people really thought and still think of me. Eventually I had to block all this negativity once and for all.

It's not easy!

I spent years people-pleasing, but never ass-kissing, and yet these people went out of their way to make me unhappy. Never again. 

What brought this revelation? I think it's a combination of the amazing weather we've been having, aside from a day of rain here and there. Also, learning to finally stand up to people whether it's family or friends (did I ever have any?) Everyone has noticed the changes in me. I look in the mirror and see someone who is finally content and, dare I say, happier? True happiness is unattainable but moments of feeling happy are in abundance.

I've also noticed that some people stopped talking to me. That's fine. I had to shut the door on some as well. I wish no harm but will say to stop interfering with my life and music. It is amazing how people forget I exist because they can't benefit from me anymore. OH WELL!

A new tribe has emerged, in the form of the cover band scene. Strange but true. I am still fiercely creative and hope to start work on my 10th album whenever the stars align. But I am also realistic in that nobody really wants to see me perform my songs live anymore. That's okay. I lost the heart for that but the 10 demos I created (out of 40!) are some of the strongest pieces of music. Yet, the cover scene has accepted me a bit more than the original scene. Both have their share of petulant childish attitudes and whatever but I'm a true professional. I don't drink or own a PA, but when someone hires me, I get asked back because of my candor.

And my cool gear :)