life is hard

life is hard sometimes. lately it's been really kicking my ass. i'm in a long distance relationship with my wife, who lives in the UK. sometimes it feels like the world is just trying to keep us apart. 

it'd hard at times like these to stay optimistic and grounded. i've been through so much, and i made it out okay. same with my wife. we've accomplished a lot as a couple. we have a bond that most people never get to experience, even when living together. i know all of this will see us both through. 

when it feels like the world is falling apart and nowhere is safe, what is there to hold on to? 

i'm reminded of when i was really struggling with depression, self harm, anxiety, etc as a teenager. every day was a battle. i had to live minute by minute and trudge through. 

i'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally. this time around it's circumstance and the world at large that is causing me pain. in some ways this is more difficult, because we can't do anything to "fix" it ourselves. all we can do is stay strong and wait it out. 

sometimes staying strong means letting yourself feel weak. sometimes all you can do is dig in your heels, duck your head, and let the tide crash over you. 

nothing is ever permanent. everything will change and pass into something else. whether it's better or worse, at least it will be different. 

not sure how to end this post. i stay optimistic and hopeful because it's the only valid option. things will work out somehow, some day. for now, all i can do is take things one minute at a time.