JDuke is Real: An Essay

Heathers is a cult classic movie with a pretty good musical adaptation. We don’t talk about the TV show. We all know that Jason “J. D.” Dean and Veronica Sawyer are the main couple in the movie. But what if JD had actually had eyes for another girl that isn’t Veronica? Hi, my name is Salem and welcome to my TED Talk. Today, I will be yapping about how JDuke (Jason “J. D.” Dean x Heather Duke) is real. For the purpose of my brain this will only be based on the 1988 movie. I might do one of these on the musical later. Also I will be referring to Heather Duke as “Duke”. Let’s get started.

In the first scene that’s in the cafeteria starting around the 4:00 mark, Heather Chandler wants to bully the shit out of Martha “Dumptruck” Dunnstock. So, she makes Veronica forge “a hot and horny but realistically low-key” note in Kurt’s handwriting to give to Martha. Even though both herself and Veronica have perfectly fine clipboards and they are surrounded by tables, Chandler makes Duke bend down so that Veronica can bare down on her back. While she is bent down, it cuts to JD who is sulking in a corner. JD shifts up a little and looks in that direction. Veronica is behind Duke and the other two Heathers are too the audience’s right of them. JD is on the audience’s left. When Veronica passes the note to Chandler, he looks at where Duke would have been. Which he can see, because of his angle.

In that scene when the Heathers and Veronica sit down at their table, Duke’s eyes are always looking at the corner where JD would have been. The time it cuts to JD while they were at the table, he looks like he’s looking more at Duke than Veronica. So, they were staring at each other like the lovebirds they are.

When the Heathers and Veronica come back into the cafeteria after Duke pukes, JD looks over and smiles. He could be looking at Duke for all we know. Also when Heather M. tells Veronica JD’s name, Duke is looking over at him with a small smile and almost starts drooling.

When the Heathers and Veronica are playing croquet after school that day, they are talking about JD, and while they’re doing that, Duke seems very giggly and smiling a lot. I think someone has a crush.

That night Chandler and Veronica were off at a party. We had no idea what Duke and JD were doing. They could have been hanging out together in those hours. JD randomly appears at Veronica’s house after the party. Someone would have needed to give him her address. Duke could have been that person

After Chandler died, Veronica and JD are sitting in his house and watching the news about her death. JD seems to be smiling a little when Duke is on TV.

At Chandler’s funeral, JD has his shirt unbuttoned more than normal. It’s two buttons instead of one. He knew Duke would be there and was maybe trying to look nice for her. Also, the neckline on her dress is quite low for a funeral. Maybe she was trying to look good for JD. After the funeral, he can be seen riding his motorcycle which has a seat. A seat that can probably fit Duke perfectly. She’s not seen after the funeral, and we don’t know where he’s driving to. He could have picked her up in the back of the church where no one would have seen.

We don’t see JD again until at night at Veronica, Heather M., Kurt, and Ram’s date. In that time he could have hung out with Duke and dropped her off at her house. Veronica and him were supposed to have a date together, before she did Heather M. a favor by going on the double date. He could have taken Duke on the date instead.

When Veronica and JD are arguing in the car, Duke looks pretty happy and smiley. Maybe, because their relationship is falling apart and she has a chance with him (if they weren’t already dating in private.) She also seems to be staring right at him.

To prove my point that JD was trying to look good at Chandler’s funeral for Duke, he only has one button undone at Kurt and Ram’s funeral. She wasn’t shown to be there.

During Miss Fleming’s thing, JD is hugging Veronica from behind, but he’s looking over to his right and in front of him where we can assume where Duke went. He’s probably checking her out or something.

We finally got to the part where they talked. YIPPEE!!! First of all JD looks weirdly nervous when he’s approaching Duke. Awww, he’s nervous to talk to his crush. They look at each other like they just want to kiss each other. Here’s literally the convo:
Duke: “Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?”
JD: “Oh, I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It’s kind of scary how everyone’s got a little story to tell. Want to see the canoeing shots?”
Duke: “What is this? Blackmail? I’ll give you a week’s lunch money.”
JD: “I don’t want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness, it needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader, but…”
Duke: “But she couldn't handle it.”
JD: “I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table, and now it’s your turn to take the helm.”
Duke: “What about the photographs?”
JD: “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll ask you to do me a favor and it’ll be one you’ll enjoy. And you’ll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime, strength. Here’s a little gift… From Heather to Heather.”

Like vro, they are practically throwing themselves at each other. Duke also seems so much happier after her conversation with him. Also he gave her the present of Chandler’s scrunchie. JD literally looks at her and bites his lip while they’re talking. He also licks his lips while looking her up and down. They both yap about anarchy and how the world would be a better place if bad people didn’t exist like they were made for each other. Also nerding out of a shared interest. It’s time for their second and last convo:
JD: So it’s come to this. Heather Chandler did polls, I want you to do a petition, as a favor, as the favor. You’ve heard of the group “Big Fun”, right?
Duke: That’s right. Teenage Sucide (Don’t Do It).
JD: Right. Some teenybopper rag says they want to play a prom. Now, It could be Westerburg’s if we get everybody’s John Hancock.
Duke: I’ll get right on it, coach. Oh. Little gift for you. I won’t be needing it.

When she gets up, he literally looks her up and down and sighs. His face when she walks away is a little suspicious. Was he looking at her or was he reacting to something in her book? We don’t know. The way she calls him “coach” seems sexual. “Coach” has been used in a sexual setting before. (We don’t talk about why I know that. [Frerard fic most likely]) She might have been so determined to get everyone’s signatures to impress her crush/boyfriend.

When Duke told Veronica the petition was JD’s idea and asked her to sign it which she declined, she says “Jealous much?”. It seems like she knows that she’s stealing JD from Veronica. The reason why JD agreed to killing her (he never actually does) is to see his pretty girl. He says, “I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.” Underlining meaningful passages? 🤨 I think you meant something else based on your tone, JD.

In Veronica’s dream, JD kills a sleeping Duke and locks her out. That might symbolize her being jealous of Duke getting his attention even though she thinks she’s over him. Also when he goes to kill her, he looks like he’s going to pounce on her and start making out.

A rational person would say that JD would want to kill Veronica, so she wouldn't get in his way of blowing up the school, but we're in dululu land here. JD want to kill Veronica, so he could date Duke publicly without an alive Veronica knowing.

Why did after JD go kaboom, it cut to Duke? Why not McNamara or Martha? Also while everyone that was in the gym, why did Duke have the most concerned look on her face out of anyone else? Just think about that.

I don't know how to write a conclusion paragraph so, bye then. Have an amazing rest of your day.