Immortalize

if you knew how much I love you

you would probably say I was crazy

I can't think of a word to describe it 

you are utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful and there is nothing I want more than you.

call me lovesick, call me incredibly stupid.

call me young, excited, and idiotic.

tell me I don't need you the way I do.

but nothing can change how I feel 

and I am indefinitely, irreversibly in love.

our first year of school, I wasn't thinking of girls.

I was lost, confused, confident but scared 

Like wet fire; stifled, but still burning dimly

clean glasses, perfectly pressed uniforms, new shoes

I was obviously the teachers pet.

Then you came and knocked me off balance 

Black hair, pulled back in a curly, messy bun

scrunched up on top of your head like a crown

khaki shorts and untucked shirts, shoes with no laces

and before I knew it, I was in love

You were like a shot of Novocaine or heroine 

dangerous and addictive, pleasantly reckless 

like fire flaring up in my lungs

a beautiful disaster just waiting to happen

and I loved it, I loved you.

My very own queen of hearts.

You were the sub, and I was the earth 

I was the earth, and I was getting too close

you were the sub, bright and warm and welcoming 

and dangerous 

so very dangerous 

but I wanted you, I needed you

dangerous, disastrous, reckless girl

the girl with the key to my heart

The girl with scars and a story

we made more friends, a small group of us

All of us from the very beginning 

But you were so much more than a friend 

At first I thought I was going insane

Girls can't like girls! what a stupid idea! 

But you...you were always more

I remember when I first told you I liked girls

You rolled your eyes teasingly and said "I know." 

I remember your smile so clearly 

with you nose crunched up and your tongue between your teeth.

You smile like nothing mattered

You smiled like you were invincible 

with stars in your eyes and a smile

You made a minute feel like forever.

Beautiful 

Dangerous 

Careless

Scarred

Strong

Reckless 

Addictive 

My beautiful, beautiful rose

My heartbreaking, addicting drug

The girl with the key to my heart