disapointed (?)

guess what, remembered I had this account so just wanted to get on. Worst thing happened today, my mom went to my Parent Teacher conference and... good lord. For context Id say Im an average-above average kid in studies, scored like 84% total in freshman year. But, the teachers (my comp sci teacher) was really fucking mean about it.. she said I'm not the best student, that I "hang out with the wrong kids", "backbencher" whatever. my mom says she's disappointed because I was the one kid that "never caused her trouble academic wise", that hurt like a bitch man. I've always been alone academically, atleast since middle school. Had to teach myself everything. Even now I'm without tutors for maths, physics and chemistry. God, Ive been trying so hard not to cry all day. What's worse is I'm in student council. My teachers fucking SUCK MAN! i have mid terms in like a week now.. I feel like the biggest embarrassment on planet earth. Compare myself to everyone else on student council, do I even really belong? Im just begging my brain not to break down rn, even though it's just normal teenager stuff, right? I mean, my mom doesn't know shit about me, she doesn't WANT to. Shes openly called me her "most misbehaved child", ever since this year she's saying I'm "losing my personality" and "becoming more ill mannered by the day". What the FUCK MAN?! who SAYS THAT ABOUT THEIR OWN CHILD?! and then she wonders why I'm getting distant.

FUCK THIS MAN! I sound so corny but genuinely what the FUCK?! I'm so lost and angry and just ughghhhhh. Now i have to study 24/7 so that I can get good enough marks in my midterms. Obviously it won't ever be enough for my mom, nothing is. She says she never has expectations for me , but turns around and tells me she's disappointed and hates me in school now? That I used to be her best child? USED TO? yeah go back to loving your other kids, never loved me anyways. I don't get it I score amazing in my finals the FUCK DOES SHE WANT?? Why are you willing to listen to these teachers who are openly every "-ist" in the book then your own child!? Newsflash: PEOPLE FAIL THEIR TESTS, LIKE ALL THE TIME!!! i failed my computer science test for the first time in HISTORY! A TEST by the way, not at all determined in grades. The teacher checked my paper so unfairly, turned around to say that I'M THE PROBLEM? MAYBE I AM, BUT KIDS CAN'T ALWAYS HAVE FULL MARKS YOU KNOW! God. Maybe if you paid attention to your child, MOM. maybe if she LOVED ME EVEN JUST AS MUCH AS HER OTHER KIDS. Just because YOU studied 24/7, 365 in highschool and got full marks all the time (she took literature btw, I took computer science. THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE.) , doesn't mean I'M GONNA BE THE SAME YOU KNOW?

I won't even lie this is just a stupid ass rant about everything. God. If you read to the end you probably deserve a medal, I'm just tryna stop myself from getting all emotional over stupid shit that won't matter anyways.