"I cant wait to fucking leave." 

I both thought this and said this statement about 50,000 times before I left, ready to leave behind the soul crushing tediousness of the life and town I've known for the past 18 years. While the great state of Louisiana wasn't what I initially wanted, whatever was going on down here had to be better than being home. And for my last few months in Connecticut, I genuinely believed that. 

I have now been here for a little over a month, and since that period of time, my perspective on going to school out of state has changed quite a bit. 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my school. I was very hands-off with my college application process, and didn't look into it all that much. What I DID know was that the Music Industry program at Loyola was state of the art...and it is. When I imagined college I thought to myself that I would study abroad as soon as I could, but ever since I started attending classes here, I have yet to want to miss a single one. My professors are dope, the community here is so welcoming, and my suitemates are the sweetest people ever. 

However, when the quiet moments creep in, my anxiety is being a little bitch, and leaving the dorm feels too overwhelming...sometimes the only thing I can wish for is to go back home. 

I talked to a close friend of mine recently and he explained the way I felt eloquently. He said: 

"You aren't alone in New Orleans, you're on your own, and while you have people there, you don't have YOUR people."

And when he said that it all kind of clicked in my head. The home sickness I was feeling was not for a place, but for the people in my life that have supported me through all my highs and lows, the ones that I know will never leave me, and the ones who even if I fight with, will beat a bitch up for me if need be. My friends, my family...they are the home I wish I could go back to with a snap of a finger, and thankfully not that dusty ass Trumpie town.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Though I haven't been here long, New Orleans already feels like a second home. The people, the food, the culture...I embrace every part of it, as every part of it embraces me. I never thought I would love the south, but now I can't wait to spend the next four years here, no matter what direction life takes me. 

In that same breath, I am now more grateful than ever for those back home that have stood by me and supported me, and despite the distance, I always make sure to call home and check in and show love, because even just hearing their voices makes me light up inside, and gives me the strength to keep moving forward. 

So for anyone considering going out of state for college...DO IT. 

Some days it will push you to your fucking limit, and you'll want to do nothing but curl up into a ball and cry. But it forces you to be TRULY independent. To say no, to advocate for yourself, to know who you are, and be your own best friend even in rooms where all the odds are stacked against you. You learn what you're made of, what you're afraid of, and then you figure out how to overcome all those challenges. I just hope that when you face these challenges that you don't take that as a sign to pack up your bags and go to the comfort of home. Because going back to what's comfortable doesn't allow you to grow. Moving on and moving forward DOES.

More importantly, when you do achieve success, and overcome by your OWN means, being able to go back to that safety net of people, back to your HOME, the ones who would be proud even if you failed, and telling them "I DID that," becomes all the more sweet.