Random Blog #39 - Small Vent

Next Tuesday is my mom's birthday and I'm not very excited. We don't have a very good relationship and we only ever get along for her benefits. Sure, kid me loved her but after a few signs of narcissism and some messed up comments... I woke up.

I've never done anything for her to hate me and give me the cold shoulder like this. I don't remember any praises from her, nor hugs or kisses on the forehead. Which I ended up hating physical attention, but she turns it around and calls me selfish for not giving her anything back.

She talks bad about me to everyone she mets and humiliated me a few times before,, one of the many reasons why I have depression. Heck, she even has my dad and brother against me a few times. Worst of all, she wants grandkids but does not want me around anyone.

I did cry and wrote letters that I'll be good. That I'll be the daughter of her dreams, but it's bull crap now.

She ruined my 21st birthday and that's changed my perspective of her a lot. Sure, she does things here and there but it won't heal the damage she left on me.

I'm just going to make some cute card and sweet words for her not to get my head, but I'm not putting my heart into it. I won't put my emotions or myself in harm.