update to feeling paranoid

Hello.
It is me.
Luxu
it's been a month since the last blog
i've not done better since

I played what could probably be my last show in the school
being honest?
I do mind.
I was there doing my own thing.
playing bass and singing (live show fyi)
and i notice that her, and the friend group was there.
i notice that she does mind aswell.
she moved twice.
I do not care honestly, i have also avoided her when it's her turn to play.

I quit the music school that i go, just so i can stop seeing her
i don't think she even wants me to even touch me with a 10ft pole

"So I'm turning away

Away from the name

Away from the stones

Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns

Cause I'm running away"

-World so cold by Mudvayne

I didn't play the other show that we were supposed to play. (AKA... read pt.1)

I stopped going in general.
Hell... my mom got awarded and i didn't go.
i feel guilty.
Grades have also been dropping.
2 F's 

i'm also planning on quitting my band
why is it so hard to meet nice people now

i really wanna meet someone new in my life...
however...
would it be fair to them if i'm still stuck in this hellhole that i started a year ago??

Fuck you 1 year ago Luxu.

"Why does everyone feel like my enemy?

Don't want any part of depression or darkness

I've had enough

Sick and tired, bring the sun, or I'm gone"

- World so cold by mudvayne