Music can relect ones inner self and struggles

((SECOND TIME BECAUSE THE FIRST ONE I MESSED UP AND DIDNT SAVE IT))

Brooooo!!! I had a whole paragraph about my thoughts on how ones fave songs and even top genres of music can actually help oneself understand somone in a deeper level, usually.. BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID AND I LOST IT!! Imma try and put down what I had, so here it goes.

Music has really intertwined with our lives. I can personally say that I'm a music addict...🫠😅 I feel like I'm not alone on this. Like, every second of my life, I need something in the background of whatever Im doing. Heck, even while I'm typing this,  I'm listening to music. 🤗  (SO WHAT by Midwxst, yall should definitely listen to it!! 😖) Music; no matter the type, has really helped people in many ways, for me; it just helps me keep any negative thoughts from coming in. But! Have you ever stopped to analyze the type of music you listen to daily? Have you ever noticed the pattern of your favorite music or songs and compared them? Well, lately I have for myself, and I've come to see my inner self different from what I present myself. 

I listen to any time of music, you can say. [EXCEPT for most country,  banda/madachi band 😩 idk I can't really with most of that style music] but if I had to top it off in one group/genre, I would say I prefer alternative music such as; Good Charlotte, Pierce the veil, Wesghost, Midwxst, Blink182, Magnolia Park, Blnko, IAmJakeHill and etc. (Just to name a few) The thing is; although I LOVE all these artists songs, I've come to realize that there is only a handful of those songs that really hits me in a deeper level. 

And I asked myself why? 

This question really came up because of an interaction with a friend. We were just listening to music as we talked about personal stuff. We both liked the same artist and a song came up; it was very heavy one with the most gut wrenching lyrics ever, and I just stated to them that this song was my number one song from said artist. They looked at me with  a surprised look, and said that, with the way this song is; melody wise, lyric and meaning, they never would imagine THAT song specifically would resonate with me. Then they put up another song from the same artist, but, even though I do like that song, it was never my got to song when I think about that artist. It was more slow pace, more light hearted compare to song before. We went into a bigger dive on it and bit by bit I came to see some similarities on my favorite songs of certain artist and even genre. 

To give a insight about myself; I'm what people call an ambivert; Im shy AT FIRST and do love (you can say adore) being alone but I do enjoy the company of others, can chat away with someone as I get to know them more (and I won't shut up) and can be weird. But the songs that I've come to love deep don't really reflect that. [Or so my friend said]

If I were to make a playlist of the top songs and such, I believe many would assume I am egoistic, rude, standoffish, like to talk back, big dreamer, crazy and disrespectful. Thing is, I don't give off that vibe. Many people in my life have said that I'm many things but never one those, but, my friend pointed that if they didn't know who I was and I sent those songs to them, those are tthe things they would assume of me. Honestly I didn't know what to respond when they brought that up but it really got me thinking.

Once I got home and in my room, I decided to really analyze all my songs and even compare the top genres of every year (you know how most music apps do an analysis of all the songs youve listen to through the year). It really hits that honestly....I am all those things inside....I don't know to put it in words, but, those songs really expressed about I TRULY wanna express myself. Then I started to really think....most of the people that I know, who are really wild, carefree, rude, and disrespectful, whenever they put music on, it's always; slowpace, angelic, and sweet....like they're always crying inside, in a way. Yet when you see them, even when you see inside their eyes, they never show that sadness. It's like music, weather we see it or not, can be a gate in really understanding someone, things not even they themselves even know....I don't know if that makes sense.

Like all those things on looking down on people, wanting more, feeling angry about how someone is better than me....are things I've never wanted to admit were always in me. I feel like I've used music to really hide deep down my darkest secrets in a way and mindset. In a way, made me see myself differently....Like I'm looking at a mirror and although it's me looking at me, it's not at the same time. 

Maybe I am thinking to much into it. Im not saying EVERY song someone listens to reflects something about them. But really stop and think about those CERTAIN songs and really reflect. Who truly are you? Obviously there are many other things to think about when going through the motion of truly understand your deepest soul, but just take a while one day, do into a dive in your list of songs and see what can you find about yourself you never knew you were hiding. 

Anyways! :3 Thanks for reading this and give me your thoughts. I've always had this in the back of my mind since I was young but it really sparked my interest just a few days ago after that interaction. I hope you understand what I was trying to say....😅 But then again I might just be crazy...since I am just sleep deprived and running on coffee today. 

××Kerby Out ×× 

(;｀･ω･)ﾉ