Lyrically talented vocally deficet

Lmk if I need to edit this for visibility!!!

I write a lot to process my feelings. I honestly think I'm pretty good. I wish I was able to share my stories in a better way using my own voice, but I am incredibly lyrically deficit 😅 I can sing it's just not good. But I can write. I've always wanted to be a ghost writer. I have put my lyrics into an AI song app that gives my music beat and vocals. It's incredibly cathartic and I feel some may be relatable even. Please take your pick and listen I have a bunch of different words to relate to! I would love some feedback :3 

The tide keeps rolling in like rage :this song is about emotional neglect and the anger that comes with it (experimental, indie folk, emo)  

This isn't a reboot it's realizing I was pre programmed wrong : this is about getting a late autism diagnoses and understanding that as an adult while my husband had a diagnoses since age 2 and had early interventions (folk, emo, lo-fi, breakcore)

Eldest sister, second mother :  this about the impact of watching my parents become healthier adults after raising my baby brother while I was a teenager, and how I've never wanted him to feel the pain I did, but watching the way they parent him now is extremely painful knowing I never got that same version of them. I held him before they could. (Emo-indie-folk ballad) 

Dissociated so hard I ended up on the 405 all the way from 270 : this is about how dissociation and drug abuse were masks for my pain but how they inevitably made it worse (emo, pop, lo-fi, trap)

Stuck inside someone's Tumblr self insert fanfic : this is specific to BPD, coping mechanism based on self harm, an addiction to retraumatization and self sabotaging behaviors (alt-pop, punk-emo, sadcore)

If the walls loft could talk, they'd choose to keep our secrets : this is a love song for my best friend in the whole wide world. It's about how we struggled with dependcy with each other as teenagers and how growing up is one of the hardest things to do when the reality of adulthood hits knowing younger us had no idea what it would really be like. (Folk-punk, lo-fi, indie)

The 18th still scares me (it's been 10 years) : this song is about the long term effects of CSA even after years of healing. It serves as much anger and my truth. (Trap, spoken word, angry rap)

I learned to lie from the bathroom mirror : This song is about parental invalidation and emotional neglect and how that carries on into your adult years. (Indie folk-rock) 

Dog on a leash (sirens favorite sin) : this song is about my first queer relationship and how I was head over heals with her and despite her dragging me along, and knowing, I let her just so I could be close to her. (Emo, folk-punk, lo-fi) 

I still need to sew my childhood teddy bear back up : (the title is true) this song is about the grief of healing and missing the space to be broken and messy, the grief of getting older and realizing it's not as scary as before, but it feels more like losing a version of myself I cannot remember. (Dream pop, bedroom pop) 

Being otherworldly is exhausting : I have a hyperfixation on mythology, there's also a lot of mythology involved with neurodiversity, not to mention the MPDG trope many of us fall into whether it's ADHD/autism or BPD (I have all 3) I'm tired of my disabilies being looked at as cute little quirks it's exhausting keeping their otherworldly image when in reality I'm struggling. (Alt-pop, dark electro, industrial pop) 

I wouldve told you if you would've believed me : this song is about the fear and dread of talking about CSA. The guilt of having to bare your family with the information and realization of their neglect, and despite the symptoms of trauma and getting called dramatic you push on not telling a soul because at this point is it even believable when they've made up their mind about you? 

Static in my bones, code in my heart : this song is about having ADHD/autism and how it feels to be behind your peers as an adult, especially socially and emotionally. I wrote this with the idea of alexthymia in mind. (Folk, emo, vaporwave) 

I wish I got my cat taxidermied instead of cremated : this song has nothing to do with my dead cat. But it has everything to do with shrinking yourself to fit into a mold just to be loved. (Indie-folk, singer-songwriter) 

The sea called me broken, but you called me home : this is a love song for my husband. It's about how he didn't save me but he sat next to me and helped me pick the pieces up to get the motivation to save myself. (Emo, acoustic, singer-songwriter)

I don't need a name for heaven : this song I wrote during a religious OCD spiral to help me feel better. It's about being spiritual despite not being religious. (Hyper-pop, glitchcore alt-emo) 

These are just 16 songs I have many more, feel free to check my profile out and listen to my other songs. I hope these speak to you because listening to my words as music makes me catharticly cry sometimes. My music has a lot of themes about autism/ADHD, trauma, dissocition, self sabotage/destruction, addiction, CSA and much more. I really hope they can resonate with some of you.