Report Blog Entry
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/62839357298590257/
14:08
Hello, This is the first time im blogging about my day. Why i would blog? Becuase today i feel really lonely. My dearest mother, brother, sister in law, sister and two beuatiful nieces Hawa and Taqwa are temporarily abroad. I havent seen them in a while and really miss them but the ironic part is that i dont want to see them becuase im angry. Why im angry? im angry at myslef i tell u later when! My father is downstairs working from home (we have an indoor store). My other sister is working till 8pm my brother has work aswell. My other sister khushi who is ill is at my cousin her house! im upstairs. i was Planning to study , which i did but then got bored. Im really mad at myself. I betrayed God(swa). They say when u visit Allahs(swt) house (Umrah in my case, Ur either invited by Allah (the ones who go and die there) Our beloved Prophet(saw) (You go there and chnage for the best, leave sins behind) Or the enemy of the human race; Iblis. In that case u go and come back continuing the same sins! Which i did:( I cannot help but hate myself for sinning! I always feel guilty all the time! i feel as if i betrayed God! They say sins show upon ones face which there isnt any evidence to back that up. But whenevr i look at myself i cannot help but look at a sinner. i feel disgusting! I hate myself and everyone else ebcuase one who truly hates themself cannit love. Therefore i will stop speaking unless im being asked anything and when im being asked questions ill answer as shortly and clear as possible. ill focus on praying and feeding the poor and helping the orphans and preparing for the haij if possible till the day i face Malk AL mauwd. Im aswell hoping on keeping myself ill educaded and getting a job so i couldnt relay on any man! The virgin Mary (Meriam) didnt have a man and shes one of the four women promised Paradise (asiya the Mother of musa..Khadija and fatima) The reason i do not want a man isnt becuase im some anti men feminis no i think i cannot love anyone properly before i learn how to love God. sprzking of Femenism. Modern femninism is a joke. Yes women do deserve rights. But do not make men and women equal becuase thye simply arent. god didnt create us equal all though we are equal in his eyes.
Ill continue studyig... perhaps eat a bit later. Im just so sad.
Bye bye
-Iqra
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )