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I was born an old soul. Even as a baby (yes, my memory runs back as far as laying in my crib), I could hear a mature voice in my head, thinking “this is all so stupid”, in regards to my family and surroundings. As I grew older, the parameters of my disdain kept extending further and further, eventually encompassing the entire world. A serious child and a serious young person, with a heavy, burdened mind, reading the likes of Sartre at 13. I was miserable and so was life.
It wasn’t until I turned 40 or so, that I finally started lightening up and feeling comfortable in my own skin. No longer elitist. Still high brow, but also low brow, childlike even. I discovered both could happily coexist in my world, without dumbing down. No longer am I miserable and neither is life.
Life lived in reverse is pretty awesome way of going about it, actually.
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Zaphod Beeblebrox⭑🛸๋⭑
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧I can relate, though in a different way. Growing up, I didn’t have a mature voice in my head, just my own, wanting to do whatever it needed , while the adults around me kept pressing their own nonsense onto me. Eventually, I had to cut those people out. They didn’t take it well. Instead, they shut me away in rooms, trying to decide what to do with me.
I don’t look back on those years with any fondness. They were dark. But now, at fifty, life feels lighter. The weight has become more tolerable, and things are brighter. ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚
Lack of autonomy and control in childhood and adolescence is the worst kind of prison. I wouldn’t swap my middle age for it for anything!
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Matt
We're you miserable the whole time really? Or do you look back and remember those times more vividly?
I was miserable for some long periods of growing up, but have a good reason to believe it was hormone changes causing the depression. Still, I'm more of the rose colored glasses type. Theres a quote from watchmen, something like: "As I get older, the future gets darker but the past keeps getting brighter".
Hey, thanks for the comment.
For me, the opposite is true. The past remains dark and looks even darker when I examine it from a distance, and the future looks brighter.
However, the present moment is all there ever “is”. And my present is a good place.
by Nightfall; ; Report