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Dude I actually hate myself. Im so gross. I feel his hands on me every night and everytime I see him. You're my family members, why are you doing that. You told me it was a game. I feel so disgusting for having thoughts of me getting SA'ed again. I know its wrong but I genuinely cant help it. Nobody and nothing will fix me. All I can think about is sex and it sucks.. I am a terrible person.
TW: SA MENTIONED
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♡ jovi 🐹
i know what its like. youre not disgusting, it wasnt your fault, and it isnt your fault that the trauma you went thru changed your brain. tell yourself that as often as you need to. as you get older and your hormones and brain chemistry start to level out, it does get a little easier to deal with it. you can think a little more clearly about things. you can start to heal before then but healing is a life long process after something so life changing. if you cant trust your own family, who can you trust? it messes with you in so many complex ways. but it was not your fault. you are not disgusting. its going to be okay
Ari
TW: Possible SA 🚨
Ughhhh I know how you feel wayyy too much. I had a similar “game” situation with a cousin of mine on several occasions when I was around 9 to when I was 12. I never really considered it SA but it always left me feeling gross and guilty for even thinking about it. I can assure you it gets better and you are NOT disgusting you were taken advantage of by a disgusting person. That has NOTHING to do with your character and you are your own person. I hope you get away and stay away from that person and they have to own up to what they did. Also wishing you love and healing very soon because you deserve it <3
TYRANT MUSHROOM
Woah, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I don’t know how old you are but believe me, nothing bad lasts forever, when you turn 18 there are many programs that can help you find a place far away from that person/persons. Please stay strong, and I know ima total stranger but if you need someone to talk to that has no part In ya life at all please feel free to reach out. And if you think you be burdening me YOU WONT. Thanks for reading and again, stay strong, you got this.