on cloud -9

these days, forming a thought feels too cloudy. my psychiatrist told my mom i'm too stressed that's why i've been having incidents at schools. but to me, i don't think i'm stressed. if i was stressed enough, i would be studying for my exam rn. but i'm clearly not doing that. so i don't want my mom to worry about me cuz she has enough stuff on her mind and i love her too much. also as a person who's known for rambling shit and talking about the cringiest things, people telling me i seem half dead and distant now isn't sitting right with me. i don't understand why i'm turning out this way cuz i don't wanna be like this. i don't like closing off and zoning out but now that's happening without me even noticing, i can't help but feel that i'm losing myself. And for that, i have nobody to blame but myself.