This is fucking hopeless

HEYYYY

we have a huge exam called "Konkour"  (کنکور) that is the whole point of 12 years of school. all 12th graders should take this exam, and it's long, like 4 hours and there is a lot of mafia and corruption behind it.

and there is a ranking, like every year 2 million or more people attend this shit in four or five subjects( like math and physics, biology and shit, and couple of other stuff that i don't know how to say them in english)

this exam is soo hard that you should study hard from 10th grade, like for 3 years to actually get something. among millions of people, you have to be like in the top 1000 0f every subject to actually get a good thing of it, others just waste their 12 years of school.

I'm 10th grade, and this fucking journey is starting, I wanna fight it, like study on my own and don't pay for those mafia's that sell dreams, they make millions of dollars of desperate students.

but my problem is i am learning programming and i really really like it, but my laptop is old and i can't afford a new one like until my konkour, it's 3 years! you know how much i'll miss? 

the tech world is evolving nad next three years can't even start an era, and the fact that I'm not going to be a part of it bugs me.

for now i can do only html or python stuff, i can't install linux or even wsl(my windows is old) or even installing compilers for C or C++ or even js.  

thanks for reading this(if you exist, i feel I'm writing this for a ghost) but yeah

thx<3