I did 2 solo bong sessions and smoked a bowl too and I decided to watch Eric Andre and analyze an episode. Here is the product of this decision. Enjoy homies >8D

Eric Andre: Analysis of a Madman

by stonicle

The stage is set. What for? DESTRUCTION! In runs a madman: part mad, part man. His name? Eric Andre. He is here to destroy his stage to smooth 90’s jazz. The sexiest saxophone solo known to man is played, commonly known to cause an orgasm upon hearing the first note. The sexiness ends. Eric chills out, and they replace his stage. Applause. In comes in the man, Hannibal ‘Morpheus Drinking a Forty in a Deathbasket’ Buress. He sits down, looking tired of Eric’s bullshit as always, and the episode hasn’t even started. Jesus Christ! Remember that sexy sax solo? FUCK IT WE’RE PLAYING GAME SHOW TUNES NOW BITCH! Eric says some off colour jokes, ‘cos fuck it! Then his audio fucks up cos he wants to be like MilliVanilli and is lipsyncing his monologue! Hannibal, fed up already, chastises the rat bastard Eric for lipsyncing. Eric yells. He tackles his drummer, as is a common ritual of his. He has so much fun when he does it, it brings him so much joy! It’s so heartwarming! End scene.

Now eric is in a bush outside a building, and he emerges with a machete. He calls for his mommy, because she abandoned him at birth for being a ratatouille bastardouille. I’m kidding.

Now we’re back at the stage. Welcome J-Mo! Eric, J-Mo, and Hannibal discuss topics like white women and their alleged creative superiority(?), and Gena Rowlands (wow, this guy knows his stuff!)

Now Eric is ready to invade! What? MENSA CONVENTION! FUCK THEM HIGH IQ ELITIST BITCHES HARHARHARHAOOOOO. He wears full medieval knight armour. He gets pushed around and clanks like a clanker. He doesn’t succeed in getting in the convention sadly. But fear not, his fight isn’t over…

Now a man named Lorenzo is awoken from sleeping behind the stage curtain, and is forced to dance for Eric and Hannibal’s cruel entertainment. They ask stupid questions only a rat bastard like Eric could think up. Did I mention he’s a rat bastard?

Now our rat bastard in rusted armour is invading a MENSA after party at a restaurant, and is again being persecuted for his crimes against The Intelligent™.

And now we cut back to the stage. It’s game time, and Hannibal ain’t having fun. The game? WHAT IF IT WAS PURPLE? First we are presented with a normal pencil, which is then displayed purple! Cheering ensues! Then we have Senator Karl Rove. Again, he is displayed purple now! Eric pledges allegiance to Adolf Hitler. I’m serious. Hannibal calls him out on this bullshit. Finally, we are presented with a bunny rabbit photograph. Now it’s purple! Eric is disgusted at the thought of Bonnie the Bunny from the hit video game franchise Five Nights at Freddy’s. He vomits on his desk and in his mug. Gross, dude. Hannibal is disgusted at Eric’ manners. Like really dawg? Okay, fuck manners I guess…

Now we’re on the street with Eric, where he ambushes Robert Forster at a restaurant patio. Robert awkwardly yet politely indulges their perverted behaviour. Robert talks about happenings from the 1960’s, which prompts Hannibal to mention lots of unprotected sex, which concerns poor Robert. He is in shock, the poor man.

Now we see Eric doing some sort of drugs in an alley white waving an American flag. Madman, I say. Indian flute music plays

Now we have our grand finale, the musical guest. The Beatles? Ew, no! the random girls from up the block. They play a jumprope game where they say something about ice cream and soda. Eric yells for his slave, Lorenzo, to emerge from the curtain once again. Eric sadisticly orders him to jumprope, which Lorenzo sucks at. He fails miserably. What a pathetic man. Hannibal clocks him. Lorenzo blames the girls. Then Role Model Pete Wentz™ (from the hit band Fall Out Boy) appears. He reminds us to buckle up when driving, and to remember to vote. The episode ends. What a subversive cinematic masterpiece! Who knew such a Rat Bastard could make such art?