College Rant

Don’t know if anybody’s gonna read this but I’m gonna rant anyway.

         So I’m a senior in high school, and I’m so conflicted about moving for college. I want to work in props for movies and tv, so moving to L.A. seems like an obvious step in that direction. Either that or New York, but it’s way to cold up there for me lol. Going to college in L.A. seems like the best option, since I can get scholarships to cover the costs while I find a job and get to know the city. Thing is, I’m from South Carolina, and have never been outside the southeast IN MY LIFE. So I’m absolutely terrified to be in a city that big. On top of that, once college rolls around, I’ll be freshly 18, since my birthday’s in the summer. I’m a 5’2, 100 pound girl and that’s gonna be TERRIFYING. I also have 5 younger siblings, and I don’t want to leave them behind.

          But at the same time, I have so much going on in my life, and have for so many years. There is nothing I would love more than a fresh start, where I have agency to do whatever I want. It would be nice to have some control over my life for once. The need I have to leave so much of my life behind and start fresh is driving me crazy. And I know I could do that in any city, but I would love to be in a place different from everything I’ve known like L.A. is, terrifying though that fact may be. And as scared as I am to leave my siblings, at some point I’ve gotta go start my own life. Might as well start as soon as possible. I’ve never stayed in once place very long, so that act of moving itself isn’t too much an issue for me, but it’ll be the first time I’ve moved on my own.

Anyway I’m terrified, rant over