Helpp

I swear im doing alr. My friends hang out w me when i want to, my rs w my fam is fine, my grades r prob ave., and i have a ton of hobbies. But sometimes melancholy destroys the positives. My mind replacess the pros with the cons. And my negatives arent even that big. But i myself dont know if im downplaying it and calling it melancholy to cope or i do have problems. I dont want to tell my dad tho. I js know hes gonna tell me to talk abt it to ppl im close w. But i cant. Its all too pathetic. Idek what im gonna do. I hate cycles. Doing the same things over and over again is sickening. Im so close to try and overdose on smth again. But i rly dont want to.