featherless and bipedal

i woke up at like four pm again. thats what i get for staying up so late. all this crazy weather finally stopped which makes me a little sad. i didnt get a chance to dance out in the rain- but i could say that about a lot of things. ive been trying my best to not feel negative emotions lately but its been getting harder and harder. i feel like a zoo animal, where everyone who sees me feels entitled to my attention in a form of selfish hubris. if i am an animal, driven purely by instinct and desire; why would i devote my entire selfhood to pleasing onlookers who know nothing of my primal cravings. who know not of how i rip and tear. instead of dancing in circles or balancing on a ball i jump up from my enclosure and maul their fuckin faces off

i tend to akin myself to a wild animal often, but i feel like a more apt descriptor is one that is caged against its will. i have given up trying to disguise my angst in prose. im pacing, i am riddled with zoochosis. but i brought this upon myself didnt i? i walked right into the cold steel bars and i said "take me from this wretched forest, freedom is only endless selection". then i was provided with the illusion of choice. i get to pick what cut of fermenting meat i consume or what muzzle is put over my mouth to shut me up. the people entertained by my suffering throw peanuts at me. i dont like peanuts. i eat them anyways. i will take what i am given

it is best not to dwell on these thoughts for long. i will put them in their own cage and sentence them to their own beartrap. itll clench quick around its ankle like a warm mouth. god how i desire warm mouths, aching jaws. its been so cold. human warm each other, how curious is that? 

ta-ta for now!

-k.s