Lifeshit Diary ⋆ 06.09.25

Starting to realise, in my wisdom and self reflection, that things are indeed okay.

I have much ahead of me, and wonderful company that enriches me. I am ever grateful for my friends - I love them as I love family. I've been able to spend a lot more quality time with the people in my life that matter. It is a beautiful thing to be want and be wanted.

And what joy it is, too, to be kind and receive kindness. I don't have much to offer, being in a poor place myself, but being able to help the people around me has been worth so much to my conscience. After convincing myself I was evil incarnate after so much mistreatment, I think it's good to practice good to prove myself - and my maltreaters - wrong.

I think I've spent too much time thinking about people who have been entirely irrelevant or incredibly draining. Enough of that, I think. People come and go, that is life. Not much can be done. No gardener ever constructed a rose. You can water the rose, create the conditions in which it can grow... That's all one can do. I think this is generally just a wonderful opportunity for myself to leave the door open as ties I don't need are relinquished. 

I've stopped thinking about suicide, too, for now. Abuse isn't something that is permanent. I can leave my environment if I try hard enough. I still have my future plans, my life ahead of me. I can't prove loser opps right by dying. I'm intelligent, sexy, and have the moxie to be famous.

I've been also enjoying literature and film a lot more now that I have the motivation to engage with my hobbies again. I'm thinking about picking up the Dune books after having watched Lynch's film adaptation. I've also started to look into hobbyist taxidermy as well in more depth than before. Here's to hoping that works out. 

In essence: BEING UPSET FIXES NOTHING! Move on and mog. Love yourself above all.