my "best friend" is really mean :(

friendship is supposed to be about love, support, and showing up for each other. But sometimes, the people we trust the most can be the ones who hurt us the deepest.

For a long time, I believed my best friend and I had the kind of bond that could withstand anything. I was always there for her whether she needed advice, comfort, or just someone to listen. But when it was my turn to need support, she was nowhere to be found.

Over time, I noticed a painful pattern:

• She leaned on me when she had problems, but dismissed mine.

• She berated me, making me feel small instead of safe.

• She was rude to me and even to my other friends, leaving me embarrassed and isolated.

• She spoke to me in ways that were disrespectful and hurtful, breaking down my confidence piece by piece.

It’s hard to admit, but this relationship pushed me to some very dark places. Feeling constantly belittled and unsupported left me wondering if I mattered at all. No one should ever feel like that because of a “friend.”

Writing this isn’t about revenge it’s about release. I’ve realized that friendship isn’t supposed to drain you or make you question your worth. True friends lift you up, respect you, and show up when it matters most.

If you’re reading this and you’ve felt the same, know you’re not alone. It’s okay to step away from people who hurt you. It’s okay to protect your peace. And it’s more than okay to demand the kind of love and friendship you truly deserve.

The Part That Still Hurts the Most

As much as she’s hurt me, the truth is that I still care about her. I still want her to be a good person, and I still want to feel like she’s my best friend. Deep down, I don’t want to lose her. I’ve been willing to fight for our friendship, to work through the pain, and to believe in her even when it’s been hard.

But it feels like she doesn’t want to fight with me. That’s the hardest part—wanting to hold on when the other person seems ready to let go. I can’t be the only one carrying this friendship, no matter how much I wish things were different.

anyways that's it </3 toaster out.