things are looking up perhaps?

random life update/ramble?

i got a new job in food service and so far i like it. i get a little confused about stuff but i'm still learning and most of my coworkers seem decently patient and helpful with me. i'm glad to be working again since i actually go outside and drive and talk to people. plus i'll be making money again too, i just hope i get decent hours. 

A random but important fact about me is that I get really bad driving anxiety and sometimes even pass out because of it. Lately, I've been doing better, though. This sounds small and dumb, but I drove myself to get a drink and then to my cousin's match, then to a restaurant before coming home. I feel a little more hopeful this week because of my job and my confidence in driving. It'd be cool if stuff stays like this, but it gets better before it gets worse and vice versa. 

I still haven't driven on the freeway in a couple of years after my accident because I need someone to be in the car with me if things go south; i don't think anyone wants to do it tho and i don't blame them. i would feel sketched out if i had to be in the car with a person who faints while driving. 

side note i have so many ppl who love me and wanna hang out with me but i feel lonely a lot of the time anyway. i just wanna slap myself and be like! look around! but i honestly get jealous when someone likes someone more than me. it's a toxic trait im working on though. all i know is my bf and my best friend love me and i guess thats all that matters. 

if you read this long send me a song rec! i need more songs to listen to i can never get enough :3