Overdue update (repost)

Couldn't seem to edit the post properly on the app as I'm experiencing glitches so I wanted to rewrite what I wrote because I don't feel I wrote very clearly.

Basically life was going pretty good, but I experienced a pretty bad low. I'm someone who over time has dealt with severe mental health problems and addictions. I've spent the past year really turning my life around both mentally, physically and spiritually....but I had experienced a pretty bad break about a week ago with my mental health and an emergency service had to be called.

This made me re-evaluate a lot of things and search for more intense and extensive treatments, as evidently even with all my new supports in place, it was not enough. I'm scheduled to see my doctor on the 22nd to address if I'm eligible to be admitted I to a treatment centre, and until then I'm trying to address all my issues at all angles and receive as much support as possible to prevent any problems. I got into some AA meetings and plan to go most days of the week. I'm also continuing with my psychologist and speech pathologist as well as seeing my support worker on Thursdays.

My life these days aligns generally with my mental, physical and spiritual goals, but I am human and imperfect... So I'm just making sure to do as much as I am able to do to reach out and prevent straying from my goals or entering into a dark place. 

It's made some of my plans take a temporary back seat, and while that's disappointing it's best for everyone involved because I don't want to end up with unaddressed issues that end up falling on my loved ones.

The good news is, generally, things are stable, I just realised that it's best to catch these things now instead of later when there are regrets from not taking action and letting things build up.

I recently qualified to become an unbaptized publisher, so I'm putting a lot of my energy into recovery and my spiritual goals, and reaching out to people who care for me and understand me.

I'm cautious, but excited for the future and this new chapter of continuing to better myself and move forward in every aspect of life.

The 13th will be my first time going out witnessing, so a big priority is keeping it together and showing Jehovah that I value Him and what I have been given and continue to improve myself, as well as continue to align my life with His standards as when I get out there, I'll be representing His name as well as the congregation I'm associated with.

I take these things really seriously, so it's good to know I'm keepig in contact with the appropriate supports and communities when I need to reach out.

Going to go through the 12 step program to address the continuous thoughts of my addiction, because it really depressed and distresses me. It's one thing to address being sober, but it's a whole other thing to address the internal issues that addiction still causes me on a daily basis, and I need to ensure that I am well, not only physically but mentally.

When things aren't going well mentally it is easy for my brain to turn back to old "solutions", and I can't fall back to that.

Feeling hopeful overall despite my bad thoughts, as long as I'm continuing to take action and grow.