You aren't single because of "misandry".

I just wrote a regrettably cruel comment under someone's blog, speaking on misandry/ man hating/ feminism, but the core of my argument still stands.

I want to be kinder and gentler around the topic in this post, because harshness gets nobody to see my side and everyone's defences get up.

You're not single because of man haters or feminists; whilst blaming someone else for your loneliness is extremely easy, it isn't that simple. When most women or people primarily surrounded by women end up single, a lot of them will look inward, explore their connection with themself and then with those close to them, platonically. A lot of men don't have that, and I sympathise with it. It is hard trying to form meaningful platonic connections as a man or masc presenting person (I will be using "man" for short, but this is what I really mean), due to it being seen as "weak", "feminine", "gay", "pathetic", and so on. It is your job, as a man, to fight against those rhetorics. It's hard, I know it is, but, honestly, a lot of you aren't used to much backlash against your identity in a daily basis (Not saying you should be getting it, it's just how things are), so this small piece of resistance and questioning of your identity of a man is usually immediately shattered upon one insult from a fellow group of men.

You don't have to only pursue friendships with men, you can also pursue friendships with women; in fact, I also advise you to broaden your horizons and befriend women in a platonic way with no sense of wanting to date them. If it helps, act like they're also a man at first (Maybe that's controversial, but I want to make this extremely digestible), treat them like you would a man, listen to them, respect what they have to say, and you will learn a lot.

As a single man, I urge you to decentre dating and sexual relations as your primary goal. What do you want to do? What are your  hobbies, interests? What are your aspirations in life? How well do you know your current friends? What's their surname? What's their favourite food? There are just so many things to think about on a daily basis, so many things to consider in your life that you might never have looked at twice before reading this.

I watched a video essay on boredom; the video said that boredom is the fuel for a creative brain. Really bore yourself. No devices, no music, no podcasts, maybe not even any light or sound in general. Stare at a blank wall, and if you wait long enough, you'll start thinking about things. What do you want for dinner? Want to try that new dish that sounds nice? How do you make it? Take a mental note and leave it till after your boredom session. Wish you'd said something to that cool looking guy at the gym you wanted to be friends with? What did you want to say? There are so many things to think about in life that you often don't give yourself enough time to consider.

If you managed that, congrats! You just did meditation. It's not stupid, it is boring, but it can also be calming. I find that the best way to decentre dating is to hone in on my creativity. This can literally be anything, from making a little bracelet, or building a chair just because I felt like it. Who says why you can't do something given that you have materials and basic tools. Really think out of the box.

Remember, feminists want equality for women and men, they do not hate men, some self-proclaimed "feminists" might call themselves man haters, you just don't interact with them, the same way a lot of women just avoid misogynists. There is no way that every single woman you've tried and failed to get with just because they're man haters; it's an excuse that these red-pilled alpha males are trying to feed you in an attempt at more personal gain for them. Are they single? Sometimes, no. Are they happy? No, they're always complaining about life and literally everything. You need to recognise that these kinds of people do not have your best interest in mind and run purely off of their followers' hatred. Smile and wave, just ignore them and don't associate if someone is actually upsetting you. And don't project your being upset with man haters onto feminists or women in general, that's how misogyny can start. Just try and keep quite a level head, try to avoid conflict in every situation possible for now whilst you're feeling your way about decentring dating. 

Do things for you, not because you think you'll be more liked for it. Change your hair to whatever you want. Change your style to whatever you want. You are loved. Please take care of yourself!