ANE_PROJECT_02

I just started college so most of my time has been taken up with studying or classes in general. Commuting to class and getting used to college for the past week, I've realized a lot about myself. I have a very hard time talking to others and developing even simple conversations with others. I'm not sure if I'll ever know why, but it can make life feel pretty hard and lonely. I try really hard to see this good side of it, that even though I don't have many friends, the friends that I do have are extremely close and beloved. I feel that I can say almost anything to them, and I cherish them. They understand my mental incapability and even share many of my sentiments towards life.

 I have realized that in many ways I think very differently than others, i guess. I don't wanna sound like I'm trying to be different or special, but I do know that I just function differently than others. Sometimes I feel too self aware and think that everyone is watching me in some way or can see right through me. I don't think of myself as a bad person, I really don't think so, but I have many issues. A lot of these issues prevent me from talking with others. Sometimes I think that I just don't wanna come off as a cornball. I don't know why I'm so afraid of being a cornball. 

Going towards my story, I want to have characters that relate to my character, as in my personality. I think people often make the majority of their characters more good than bad. There's nothing wrong with that, but a lot of the times that's not the case. Everuday we pass people that present themselves a certain way to others. They want to show the best versions of themselves, cause that's natural. Most people that you meet, you will only ever truly know 60 percent of them. People are selfish, greedy, disgusting, and indulgent. Its what makes people interesting, it drives people. I'm horrified of coming across as anything I listed, even though I am all of them. I am horrified to be myself, even though everyone has the same vices. I want to spread out and be myself. 

In many ways I hate how antisocial I am. I despise how much I overthink and can't seem to just be. In some ways I cherish my different personality, I appreciate my perspective. Without it, I don't think I would be as passionate as I am or have the drive to make my comic. I want to be myself so badly, I want people to know exactly who I am and be good.  

A sketch Im pretty proud of.