ive not been wearing makeup

ive not been wearing makeup lately, either due to time constraints, comfort, or just generally not being bothered. and im a little fed up of it, yk? i dont rly feel cunt anymore, and im a bit tired of not feeling fierce when i step outside, i just feel... blah. people treat me so much different now that i dont wear makeup, and it's been an eye opening experience, but honestly fuck that, my life shouldnt be some social experiment and i should just be able to wear makeup if i want and it isnt political. now, what is political is the fact that i am feeling lesser or blander without my makeup, people actually need to get a grip of themselves with the way they look at me because i have a bare face. im used to getting gawked at in the streets anyway, but this just feels vicious. i almost feel like id "failed" in not wearing makeup, by now wanting to wear it again. but what was i trying to even prove, if anything? that i can leave the house without it? or that i dont need it to feel pretty? idk, i havent been thinking a lot about my looks lately, because ive been off of mainstream social media and havent really had the outlets to compare myself with everyday people, except they arent really everyday, they are once in a month kinda people, ik for a fact they dont look like that all the time, and thats okay, because neither do i, and i need to remember that everyone comes in different forms every day, so i need to be less harsh on myself just because im only seeing the good sides of people, and not the bad. ill try wearing makeup again, because its kinda been like a week or so? ive not been too bothered but i just feel quite bland is all. maybe ill get my bridge pierced to try fill that void of "blandness". or get my double eyebrow piercing, both of which ive been meaning to do lately btw, not just saying that for fun, like ive acc wanted to get these piercings for ages and just havent because healing processes give me the fear.