Nostalgia

There's something so uncomfortably pleasing about the feeling of nostalgia mixed with that empty loss feeling. When a certain song plays, or when an old show comes on TV. There's this lingering feeling of loss as if you're looking for something or missing something and you just can't figure it out. Maybe it's a feeling from a past life or a forgotten memory. The feeling in your chest that isn't pain or loss, just weird. Nostalgia, loss, emptiness, connection, detachment they're all just...weird. The feeling of moving out, starting a new school, making new friends, just leaving your routine to start a new one is so empty and dark but yet you know in your heart it's something you have to do. But why do I feel almost saddened when I do things that are better for me, why do I find comfort in the darkness where I feel the most depressed, why don't I want change and all its benefits?