[Update 2]

So tonight I was on tiktok, and i got a DM from her (my ex, read my past blogs for context) and she basically sent me a paragraphs about not knowing the point of living etc and how earlier in the day she almost got hit by a car or something and didn't move out of the way, just super concerning things.

I texted screenshots to our mutual friend (lets call her H for simplicity) and she basically was like “what the hell?” And H told me to ask her if she was okay to gage her mental state etc and i asked her (the ex) if she was okay and if she was/felt like she was going to act on anything harmful and for the first reply she basically d¡cked around and ignored y question before replying VERBATIM “I don't know [insert my irl name]” and it basically dissolved into a bunch of ideations and H told me to tell her to stop or at least set up boundaries with her.

I told her that if she didn't stop i would call the cops for a wellness check (i have her address) and that what she was saying was extremely concerning and that i was scared. No joke, i was shaking and still am and i cant sleep because regardless of her being my ex shes still a person and im scared she is going to do something to herself. I told her that she was beyond selfish for dumping info like that so casually and that even just being her friend was draining, that at this point shes choosing to be stuck in that mind set by constantly bringing up traumatic things and in turn traumatizing others who have to hear her. And at the end of the day if those experiences traumatize you, what makes you think telling others about it wouldn't traumatize them? Obviously not as bad as you but still.

Future updates 

Since at the time of writing this (its like 2am) and later today at school me and H are reporting her to the counselors I'll make an update about that when i get home. At this point its just so emotionally draining and H has agreed with me about that, between work, school and the tech center I just have too much going on in my personal life on top of my own struggles to make room for my exes issues, and even then im not a professional or a therapist. Its not my job to babysit or make her my priority, and shes told me to not make her my priority but when she’s actively talking about stuff like that i feel like im getting bullied into making her one.

I plan to blog about other more positive things going on in my life or really just my interests but this situation is so draining and I havent really been wanting to blog or write very much. I do want to be more active on here though! 

Finial notes

If you or someone else is in the same position as me and H or my ex, please just go and talk to someone. Mental health isn't just hard on the person experiencing it but also the people around said person. Theres hotlines, counselors etc that can help with everything under the sun. So let this be a reminder that if you need help to advocate for yourself and if you see something you should say something.