Calm waters

Tonight, I am allowed to feel good.

The waters of my soul are calm.

My muscles ache of movement well done
my stomach sits quiet and satisfied
my urges rest silent, almost asleep.

A rare bird, this feeling
in these recent months
of constant strife against myself.

Where brain and body would fight
constantly, relentlessly

violently tearing my soul apart

Pushing me into phases

of manic, relentless energy

of fireworks behind my eyes

Obscuring the steady rise

of the wave of merciless self-loathing

dreaded, but never unexpected

Carrying wrath, mourning,

offering punishment and pain

a ruthless promise to myself.

But right now, the waters are calm.

For tonight, I am allowed to feel good.

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BULLET

I relate to this poem, great work! Perfectly said.

Thank you~